PAGE ONE: A couple of guys at a Five Guys burger joint in Pennsylvania got into a fight after one of them said the other wasn’t working hard enough. So the guy accused of being lazy pulled out a pen and stabbed the other dude in the HEAD with it. Luckily he wasn’t seriously hurt. The guy with the pen is facing felony assault charges.
PAGE TWO: A woman in Indiana drunkenly crashed into her husband’s car. She was on her way to pick him up, after he drunkenly crashed into a tractor trailer. Both of their cars were totaled. Donald was a little banged up, but Cheral is fine. They were both arrested.
